The inspirational, helpful and advice-giving messages of reasons to love being alive, in an effort to keep the main page more organized, and less detracting from the reasons themselves.

From January 1st, 2013 onward, instead of being moved to the messages archive, all messages sent and answered here will be kept here. Any sent in 2012 or earlier will still be viewable in the archive.

Major apologies to those waiting for answers to messages. I've found myself becoming hooked on some things off-Tumblr and have barely been able to keep up my personal blog, let alone RTLBA and those seeking advice.

I will be back here to answer you as soon as I find myself able to. <3 I am so sorry if I keep you waiting long past your message's usefulness. :(

Lovely People Visiting
reasons to love being alive: the advice
I just wanted to get this off my chest, I feel like I can't tell anyone but you but I think I am becoming bulimic, I've been making myself vomit for the past week every evening after dinner. I want to stop but I can't because I HAVE to lose weight.

Sweetheart ): I’m so sorry if I can’t help very well, I’ve been dealing with huge anxiety issues of my own but I swear I’ll do my best <3

First off I’m so glad you could tell me. That was an immensely brave thing to do and I’m so proud of you. <3

Secondly.. you want to stop. That is HUGE. That you actually want to stop. That’s the very first step you need to take, especially while it’s so soon. If you feel like you HAVE to lose weight, then do it in the healthy way. You DO need food. That is a necessity. You must eat still. You can watch WHAT it is you eat, but you must still eat normal amounts. Constant food (albeit maybe *different* food, that’s still nourishing and nutritious), and reasonable exercise. I recommend joining a gym, and speaking with a trainer? Say that you want to lose weight, and do it in the healthiest way possible. They’ll come up with amazing suggestions for you, I’m sure, much better than I can.

But please keep in mind sweetheart, you don’t NEED to. Do it because you WANT to. Do it because you yourself have the desire to, but because you feel it’s required. And please, please please please stay healthy while doing it. If your body CANNOT lose any more weight, please listen to it. Fat is not the enemy here. Fat is not a bad thing. Fat is a bodily necessity. Food is not the enemy either. Just, pay attention to your body, take care of it, do not punish or harm it, and listen to what it’s telling you. Its purpose is to keep you alive. Don’t keep it from doing its job by depriving it of food or over-exercising. If it needs you to eat, you EAT. If it needs you to rest, REST. If it cannot lose any more weight whatsoever without becoming harmful, do not force it to do so. Just be healthy. Promise me, however you go about it, you’ll be safe about it. <3

So my best friend is gay and i never had a problem with it. but other people at our school are giving him a hard time, still he does his best to stay positive. Recently he told me about how he wants to go the school dance with his boyfriend and maybe he even wants to wear a dress. I mean i still have no problem with it...but the others. I feel like a bad friend, because i am too weak to stand up for him (i've been bullied for years) and i'm scared that the others will do something to him :(

Hmmm.. what I would do, if I was in your situation, is maybe gather a group of friends to kind of be their bodyguards? You don’t have to do it yourself, all on your own. But I think trying to get at least one other person to defend them with you will make standing up for him a *much* easier thing to do. I understand you completely; doing that kind of thing yourself, even if you *do* feel brave, is a very hard thing to do. So try to recruit someone else, at least one other person, to do it with you. :3

Otherwise.. I’m not sure if they would help at all, or make things worse, but maybe tell some adults who would be there and able to interfere, or who have power over things in some other way? What you need here is protection, since you’re not going to be able to stop the kids from being cruel. So just.. any kind of additional, dependable protection you can get, would be an amazing thing to at least try to do.

I hope it works, sweetie. Nobody should be afraid to go with who they want to go with and wear what they want to a school dance. ):

My best friend in the world started dating my ex... At first I told her it was fine and stuff because I had a boyfriend, but now I'm just scared because my boyfriend's starting to act weird and I've been talking to her boyfriend a little. Not flirting or anything but I'm just so scared and I'm afraid to talk to anyone about it...

Hmmm.. well sweetie, there are two things I think you might wanna do here.

First off, stop talking to your ex/your best friend’s boyfriend now, any more often than you have to. You don’t need to cut off contact with him completely, but before things get weird at all or before anything else even threatens to happen, just cut off anything besides what’s purely necessary. You don’t need that threatening to make things difficult for you.

And secondly.. talk with your boyfriend about his acting weird. Ask him what’s wrong, if he has any problems, if he wants to talk about it, to at least tell you what the base of it is so you know how to act about it. You won’t know until he tells you, and likely he won’t tell you until you ask him. It would be best to try to nip any problems that may arise there in the bud as well.

Don’t be scared, okay sweetie? You aren’t *required* to talk to your ex, and you can fix whatever may be wrong with your boyfriend. Just be confident, and assertive, and distance yourself where you need to and be there for the rest, and you ought to be just fine. <3

Its your arranged marriage anon here. I've decided to stay with him. As much as it hurts me to do so. Problems arose with my ex boyfriend's family and his personal life. My husband may have come across some of my texts with my ex regarding running away and he gave me a warning, "Don't continue." I hope you're doing great :)

Hey sweetheart! <3

Oh really! Well, as long as you’re totally sure and you and your ex are completely accepting of the situation, and you won’t regret anything in the future. You know? Just as long as you’re okay with it and it’s what you feel is right. Then I can’t say a word against it. <3

I’m really sending you good luck thoughts now, then, in that case. <33 For your sake, I hope he never touches you in ways you don’t want him to ever again. I hope the rest of your life will end on a much happier note than how it began.

I’m doing well enough myself, all things considered. :] Nothing I can complain about at all when I look at everyone else around me. So I’m doing just fine! I just worry about you. My thoughts are with you, love, I hope you stay safe and happy, for always! <3

i hate myself im really ugly and no one gives a shit about me

Well sweetheart, I can immediately prove you wrong with at least one thing you just said.

*I* give a shit about you. <3

And, I can assure you. There is no such thing as an ugly person. Not physically. People can have ugly hearts and ugly souls, which by extension poisons the rest of them, but ugly exteriors? Never. <3 And don’t you EVER believe a soul who tries to tell you otherwise. You are you, nobody can be as you as you are, you are gorgeous, you are unique, and you most definitely. Have never. Been. Ugly.

As for hating yourself.. I really hope that can change in time, sweetling. <3 You’re a wonderful, amazing, lovely human being, and I see no reason for someone like you to deserve hate. What I can promise that you do deserve, is happiness. Nothing but the purest happiness life can give, and if you find yourself wishing you could have it, well, you know, that is the very first step, and already you’re on the way towards feeling clearer. :] Follow or visit positive, recovery-based, pro-self esteem blogs, and surround yourself with what they have to say everywhere possible. Maybe let out the deep and dirty thoughts of why you feel the way you do to someone you trust, or even anonymously online to some advice blog somewhere. Look in your mirror, look yourself in the eye, and smile, and and just remind yourself how gorgeous the face looking back at you is.

It’s a very long and very bumpy road. I’ve been on it myself.. trust me.. I know how difficult it can be. But do I doubt your ability to do it?

Not in the slightest. <3

Arranged marriage anon here! The situation has been much better and I am pregnant (about 3 months). His mom has been staying with us on and off to make sure he doesn't hurt me and hopefully on NYE, I shall reveal my news to him. Otherwise, I wish everyone a happy holiday and blessed new year! Thank you for listening to my story and helping me out!! <3

This is for all my followers who were wondering how this lovely lady was doing. :) She and I have been talking in emails, and agreed to update you all on how she’s doing. :]

I hope all you lovelies have been having an amazing holiday season! <3

How do you hint to a guy you want to kiss him? My boyfriend and I go to parties and movies almost every weekend and we've held hands, lean on each other, squeeze elbows, little stuff.. But how do I make hints for a kiss?

Hmmm, what I would do I think, is to take a bit of initiative myself. :3 Things like while you’re holding hands and more or less by yourself, squeeze his hand and lean over and give him a very soft kiss on his cheek for a few seconds, and he ought to look at you and as long as you don’t turn away that might spark a kiss on the lips. :] Or, if you’re feeling brave, when you’re in the same kind of situation - together, more or less by yourself, just use a few fingers to gently tilt his face towards yours and kiss him lightly on the lips, just like that. It might turn into a little more than just that if he responds in kind. :3

When I tried these, hon, they’ve always worked like a charm. :)

Oh okay. I mean, if there's any updates with her, can you ask her if you can share it with us? I've been following her story for so long and I'd just like to be informed because her situation speaks out for me and I major in Women's Studies in college.

Sure! I can ask her if she wouldn’t mind sending in updates here, no problem. :]

Sorry I hadn’t really realized others would be interested in how she’s doing without being prompted about it. ^^;

How's the arranged marriage anon?

She and I have moved to emails now, and I’m not really sure I’m at liberty to really sum up how she’s doing. :( She’s rather stuck in her situation right now, but has someone who’s willing to fight tooth and nail for her safety and to get her out of there so there *is* hope for her, but in the meantime.. there’s a lot she’s going to have to put up with and go through. :[ She’s just grateful to have someone to talk to and have listen to her and be on her side, and even if I can’t do anything else from my position on the internet I’m just glad I can give her that much you know?

soo every time I hear about a scholarship it doesn't apply to me and it's like I'm not good enough at school/don't qualify for 90% of the ones I find or the school counselor finds?? I'm a senior and going to a school that's really easy the first year but after that I'm trying to find one for a specific thing I've always wanted to do and it seems like all of those colleges are really expensive or have terrible reviews... every time I do anything to do with my future I freak out & feel doomed </3

You are so not alone in that my dear. <3 I just wish there was an easy way out I could suggest! My own college application process was quite straightforward and simple thanks to my parents, so unfortunately I don’t know all that much about other ways of doing things or finding things out. :(

All I can really think to say is that you may need to settle for a school that is less than perfect. If you keep looking for what feels like the ideal school, you might just never find it, since it honestly may not exist. But you don’t have to lower your standards considerably, either! Just enough to make the task of finding a school to go to a little easier.

And in the meantime, maybe you could talk with others who have been in your situation for other suggestions? Like those who are currently in college and putting themselves through it with their own money, or those who have already graduated and have valuable experiences to share. Mine was a little too easy to really be of any help, so I’m sorry I can’t help more. :( But try not to be so afraid, okay? <3 Keep asking around, keep talking to people, keep gathering suggestions and opinions and stories and I believe you’ll find yourself with a plan and feeling better about it sooner than you think. :]